As a sex therapist, I often hear a version of this question from clients exploring their bodies and pleasure. A few months ago, I had a session with a client—let’s call her Alyssa. She came in wide-eyed and slightly embarrassed, unsure if she should laugh, apologize, or be proud. Here’s what she said:
“I was using my vibrator, like I usually do. I’d already had an orgasm, but I kept going for that overstimulation. Right when I was about to stop, I felt this pressure—like I had to pee—and then… a little spurt of something came out. I froze. I don’t know if I squirted or peed myself.”
She told me the fluid didn’t smell like urine. It was clear. There was no ammonia scent. And her sheets didn’t smell the next day. But still—she felt thrown off. Embarrassed. Curious. Confused.
Sound familiar?
Let’s break it down. Here’s what I told her—and what I want you to know, too.
First: What Is Squirting, Actually?
Squirting, or female ejaculation, is the release of fluid from the urethra—usually during intense sexual stimulation. It often happens with:
- Overstimulation (like continuing after orgasm)
- G-spot pressure or vibration
- A feeling of “needing to pee” just before release
The fluid can be a mix of substances, primarily:
- Diluted urine (yes, that’s part of it)
- Secretions from the Skene’s glands (often called the “female prostate”)
Research has shown that these glands, located around the urethra, produce a fluid containing prostate-specific antigen (PSA)—a compound not found in typical urine.
Studies using ultrasounds found that the bladder does fill during arousal and empties during squirting, which is why the experience can involve some urine—but it’s not the same as simply peeing.
What Alyssa Was Feeling Is 100% Normal
Here’s what I asked her:
Q. Did the fluid smell like pee?
- No.
Q. Did it leave a strong scent in the sheets the next morning?
- Nope.
Q. Did it feel like an involuntary gush during intense pleasure?
- Yes.
Q. Did it catch you off guard and make you wonder what your body just did?
- Oh yes.
This is what I’ve seen again and again in clients exploring their own pleasure. That “Did I just pee?” moment is incredibly common—and it’s almost always squirting. Or at least, not just urine.
Why the Confusion?
Because we haven’t been taught this stuff.
We didn’t grow up with body-positive, pleasure-focused sex education. And porn doesn’t help—it shows squirting as this high-pressure geyser, when in reality it might be:
- A small spurt
- A gush
- A slow leak
- Or even just a wet sensation that feels different from arousal or urine
Plus, squirting often feels like you’re about to pee, because the G-spot lies near the bladder wall. That’s not failure. That’s anatomy doing its thing.
How I Help Clients Build Confidence Exploring Squirting
If you’re in Alyssa’s shoes—curious, maybe slightly panicked—here’s how I help people approach squirting with confidence, not confusion:
1. Pee Before Play
Empty your bladder before masturbation or sex. This reduces anxiety and helps you relax fully.
2. Set Up for the Mess
Use a towel, waterproof mat, or throw blanket. A “splash zone” gives you permission to let go.
3. Breathe Through the Urge
When you feel that pee-like pressure, don’t clench or stop. Try breathing deeply, exhaling slowly, and staying with the sensation.
4. Stay Curious, Not Goal-Oriented
You don’t need to squirt. But if it happens, amazing. If it doesn’t, you still had a great time exploring your body. That’s the win.
5. Don’t Let “Is It Pee?” Ruin It
If it felt good, didn’t smell like pee, and didn’t soak your mattress in ammonia—chances are, it was squirting. Or a mix. Either way, your body did something cool.
Final Thought: Whether It’s Squirting or Not—It’s Still Yours
What I told Alyssa is what I’ll tell you:
“Your body isn’t malfunctioning. It’s doing exactly what it’s designed to do—explore, respond, release, surprise you. And that’s something to celebrate, not second-guess.”
You don’t need to name it to own it. Whether it’s a trickle or a tidal wave, a clear answer or a messy maybe—you are allowed to enjoy it.
Welcome to the club. You’re not alone—and you’re not weird. You’re just discovering a new chapter of your pleasure story.
Want to explore more questions about solo sex, orgasms, or sexual anatomy? I work with individuals and couples to build confidence, connection, and body trust. Stay curious—and come back next week for more real sex-ed, from the therapy chair.
